Susan and Neil Paddock 25/07/1010
Hello, I am Susan Paddock of Dare II Dream Hypnotherapy.
[I would like thank you for visiting our website and to welcome you to “The Comfy Chair”].
Our aim with these regular interviews is to:
- help demystify hypnosis, explain Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP for short), discuss important areas of self development and
- give you, the listener, tools, techniques, insights and ideas
- to help you make safe, lasting changes and become happier, healthier and wealthier in the process.
Our “guest” speaker for today is Neil Paddock, the other half of Dare II Dream Hypnotherapy.
Neil’s Background
- Neil is a fully qualified Certified Accountant, A Fellow of the Chartered Association of Certified Accountants (FCCA). He is also a Certified Hypnotherapist (CHt) with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association (IMDHA), and a Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). He is an enthusiastic songwriter and musician having played drums with the rock and blues band “Antz Avenue” on a semi professional basis. A dedicated Self Improvement enthusiast with an extensive and varied library of books, tapes CDs and MP3s.
- An accountant in industry for over 20 years experience working for both large and small companies with a mixture of full time and contract work in Management Accounting, Financial Accounting, and more recently in management of both Human Resources (HR) and Information Technology (IT). His accountancy experience has been validated by the Institute Of Chartered Accountants in Australia. He has recently applied for membership of the Institute of Interim Management (IIM).
- Neil trained in Hypnotherapy with Topher Morrison 2005-6. He trained in NLP with Inner Compass International in 2005. He also attended Anthony Robbin’s Mastery University [which deals with Wealth Mastery, Life Mastery and Date With Destiny]. He also has experience of training within large companies in areas such as Managing and Influencing Others, Presentation Skills, Project Management and is also a trained meeting Facilitator.
- Neil has been running Dare II Dream Hypnotherapy for over 3 years now. Neil uses his skills and experience to help clients overcome addictions, have better relationships and get more of what they want out of life. He helps them make safe, lasting changes to live happier, healthier and wealthier lives.
The Questions
Q1 Firstly, could you explain to us what you see as the difference between Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy and where would you use it?
- Hypnosis is the process by which you put somebody into a trance.
- Hypnotherapy uses that trance state to communicate directly with the subconscious mind and offer helpful, positive suggestions to empower that person to make safe, lasting changes.
- It can reduce pain, eliminate phobias and destroy addictions.
Q2 What’s NLP and when would you use it rather than hypnosis?
NLP is Neuro Linguistic Programming. NLP has been defined as “The study of human excellence” and “The process of using language with such specificity that you can create any fabric of reality that you choose.” I call it operating software for the brain.
NLP uses language to create changes in people, by altering their beliefs, values, perceptions and “filters” based on looking at who they are now and how they experience the world in a new and more positive way.
If your computer is underperforming, you can upgrade the software.
NLP enables you to do the same with people. You upgrade their mental software, and give them more empowering choices than they thought they had available before. It’s very liberating!
Q3 What made you choose Hypnotherapy as a career?
I think it’s really interesting. The power of the mind. How to tap into your human potential.
A way of getting the most out of your self. The fact that you can change your life with the power of your mind. Now that is exciting!
I have always been fascinated by what makes the difference between success and failure. Any tool that can help you succeed must be worth investigating.
Hypnotherapy has been clinically proven to get great results with pain relief for example.
It’s not a sham. It’s not BS. It works.
Q4 What does being a hypnotherapist and NLP master practitioner do for you?
I get to meet all sorts of interesting people. I get a buzz out of helping them see that they are really in charge and that they can take full responsibility for their lives and how they turn out.
The power of “No excuses”. That they can actually overcome the challenges they face. It’s almost a process of dehypnotising them so they begin to believe in themselves in their particular area of challenge all over again.
And I invariably learn something myself. I may make a new distinction or gain a new insight along the way. It is fascinating!
Q5 What can Hypnotherapy do for listeners to this broadcast?
I think it was Milton Erickson, [a famous hypnotherapist whose techniques and language patterns were later modelled by John Grinder and Richard Bandler (the co founders of NLP)]
Who said that people’s conscious and subconscious minds get “out of rapport” which means they are not aligned or more simply, they have had a row and aren’t speaking! The subconscious runs the body, remembers to breathe for you and so on whilst your conscious mind worries about how good you look in the mirror, tackles what’s on your “to do” list for the day and decides what to do first.
The subconscious has the job of preserving the body, whereas the conscious mind may just have the goal of getting through the day by whatever means is available. This could mean excessive smoking, drink, drugs, food, depression or some other less than empowering habits to change our state or feelings which runs directly contrary to preserving the body.
The subconscious presses on in spite of the conscious habits and tries to detoxify the person. The human body has amazing powers of regeneration, though unfortunately this capacity to regenerate can often be outstripped by a person who is inadvertently set on destroying themselves through constant substance abuse.
It was described to me as being a bit like “Mutiny On The Bounty”. You, (Your conscious Mind) as “The Captain”, may have had a major falling out with “The Crew” (Your subconscious mind). The Crew will no longer take orders from someone they no longer respect.
Hypnotherapy can get people reintegrated again – both conscious and subconscious back on the same page, wanting the same things. The mutiny is over and peace is restored.
Q6 Can everybody be Hypnotised?
A hypnotherapist can encounter “resistance”. There are people about who pride themselves on saying “No one can hypnotise me!” Frankly, It’s pointless to see a hypnotherapist and expect anything to happen if you have this attitude.
Q7 Are there people who can’t be hypnotised, and can you still help them?
If somebody wants help and is worried about being hypnotised, then an NLP technique may be more appropriate. It really depends on what the client wants and picking the best tools available to achieve their outcomes. This will become evident during the interview process.
Q8 What can NLP do for listeners to this broadcast?
I think NLP can help people be more aware of what people are saying to themselves, their unconscious choice of language. Negative language patterns can be a tremendous burden on an individual, who may well have habitually thought in this way for so long that they are unaware of the dialogue and are forced to live with the resulting negative states or feelings that are caused by the initial unconscious thought.
They may feel lousy and they don’t know why!
For example, a person who thinks to themselves “I will never be able to do that” will be at a huge disadvantage in contrast to somebody who says to themselves “That’ll be a Piece of Cake!” in the same situation. They will feel lousy whilst the other person feels empowered.
Q9 Do you get difficult clients? How do you handle them?
It depends on what you mean by difficult. Some people don’t want to pay what you are charging. Others tell you they cannot be hypnotised. Others will turn up saying they want to give up smoking, have the treatment and then turn up again the following week on the doorstep smoking a cigarette, looking very pleased with themselves as if you did something wrong.
In every case, you need to be clear with the client that they are responsible for the change they want to make. You can’t give up smoking for them.
You need to explain that hypnosis is a tool that can say, get your motivation to change perhaps from 90% to 100%, but if its only at 25-30% (That is you don’t really want to give up anyway, and you only turned up because a relative put you up to it) then there is a limit to what hypnosis can achieve. It’s not a case of me brain washing someone into doing what they don’t really want to. That type of hypnosis is what you see in the movies, not in real life.
I think of the use of Hypnosis as a bit like taking a friend with you to buy a new puppy or to get that car you have always wanted that you have always thought was just a bit too expensive. You know, you really want it but you think your partner will go crazy if you buy it. You are teetering on the brink of a decision, and your friend manages to say, just at the right moment: “Oh Go On, You Know You Want To.”
That’s all it takes to tip you one way or the other.
I think the main thing is to be totally honest and up front with them. No surprises. Hypnosis is not a magic bullet that will work with every case, every time. It is a tool that has its place.
Q10 I have heard it said that clients show up with your problems. Have you found that to be true?
I think there is some truth in that. I think because at one level, we all have the same basic level of needs, to be loved and respected, for food and shelter and so on. Sometimes a client will have had a relationship problem they describe that you can identify with, maybe they have been verbally abused by their partner or someone at work, and they have taken it really personally.
In those cases I find myself thinking about how I would feel in the same situation, and offer suggested remedies to take the sting out of those exchanges.
I tend to draw on my own experiences if they are similar and then ask myself what would make me feel better in the same situation.
It may involve scrambling a “bad video” they keep replaying in their heads, or changing the meaning of what happened by “reframing” the event (changing the meaning of what happened) so they interpret it differently and thus feel differently about it.
I think once you have thought deeply about a problem, you are better able to cope with it.
You tend to be far more objective about a client’s problems than you would be with your own. It can be helpful as you may do more to help them than you would for yourself, and then you realise, “hang on that would work for me too!”
Q11 What’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to you in your career?
You know, I can’t think of a specific instance. I can remember occasions where you are in the middle of what seems like a really serious conversation and all of a sudden, you both see the funny side of it. It could be that a spoken sentence takes on some unintended rude or silly meaning and you end up getting one of those priceless laugh out loud moments that seems to happen randomly and spontaneously. You might even both end up crying with laughter and unable to speak coherently for several minutes. That’s when you have ultimate rapport! It’s a tremendous way of relieving tension in a situation and humour is a great way of seeing a situation from a different, more empowering perspective.
Q12 How would somebody go about choosing a competent hypnotherapist and trainer?
Find somebody else who has seen the prospective hypnotherapist and ask them what they are like. Look at testimonials. Check hypnotherapy registers. Check for any online reviews on the practice. Ask to see a CURRENT practicing certificate and/or Hypnotherapy Association membership card.
If you decide to go along, ask plenty of questions. Get a sense of whether you feel comfortable with this person and can trust them.
Make sure you understand how you will be charged for any therapy before any treatment begins. If you are not satisfied, then simply look elsewhere.
Q13 Is there any particular advice in terms of personal safety and security you would give to women?
Ask if someone else will be present in the house while you are there. Take a friend if in doubt. Actually, this works both ways. The therapist should have a 3rd party witness around too. In case of any accusations by the client of improper conduct.
Check their website for a proper address. If you are concerned, take a friend with you. Don’t take unnecessary risks.
The therapist is obliged to ask for your written permission (in advance) for you to be hypnotised, and for any techniques that involve touching such as anchoring.
If they haven’t asked you to sign anything then it sounds dodgy. Decline any paid treatment and look elsewhere.
Q14 Is Self Hypnosis an option for listeners and how would they get started?
Self Hypnosis is a possible option for some people. It depends what you are hoping to achieve and how knowledgeable and skilled you are already with hypnosis and NLP.
I often hear the argument that everybody needs a good coach and you could use the same argument here. Having another person working with you will probably accelerate any progress you make compared to trying to solve everything on your own.
Just getting another person’s perspective can be really valuable. Having a skilled hypnotherapist supporting the changes you want to make will dramatically increase your chances of you succeeding in a relatively short timeframe.
Think of the value of the change you can get in one session compared to not going and putting up with your challenge for say, another 12 months.
If you smoke 20 cigarettes a day that will cost you £2,000 in a year. And that is for every year you decide to continue. That ignores any additional costs for poor health.
A one stop smoking session will cost you £100.
You need to weigh the cost of treatment with the payoff of getting control over and changing your old behaviour.
Q15 What can somebody expect to happen if they are hypnotised?
They will simply be in a relaxed state, just like the state you are in just as you are waking up in the morning. The idea is to relax the body so the mind will follow.
Once the mind relaxes, the constant chattering voice in the client’s head will take a break.
The critical faculty, a barrier between the conscious and the unconscious mind is removed.
You can then drop ideas and suggestions straight into the unconscious mind without them being challenged, rubbished and dismissed by the conscious mind.
I think of using hypnosis in this way like doing a penalty shootout when you have already got rid of the goalkeeper. Should be a piece of cake, shouldn’t it!
Q16 Just how quickly can people’s lives change?
Change only takes an instant. A nano second. You get that light bulb moment when things will never be the same. It’s getting ready to change that takes the time.
You might think that if a person has taken the trouble to seek out a hypnotherapist that they are close to a breakthrough and should therefore be close to a change. That’s not necessarily the case. In these circumstances, we can assess how motivated they are (by asking them where they are right now on a scale of 0 – 100) and ask if they want to proceed with treatment.
I remember somebody asking how many hypnotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb? – The answer is just one, though the lightbulb has to want to change!
Q17 If somebody was considering having hypnotherapy for the first time and was a bit nervous about going through the process, what would you advise them to do?
Talk to a hypnotherapist. Phone them. If you like the sound of them, go and sit face to face for 30 minutes at no charge. See if you can see yourself working with and trusting this person. If they make you feel uncomfortable, then simply find someone else.
Q18 If somebody wanted to set up in business as a hypnotherapist or NLP trainer, how could they get started and what could you advise them to save them from making costly mistakes?
Ok. First and foremost, don’t quit the day job.
Secondly, on NO ACCOUNT WHATSEVER be drawn into buying advertising for your new business from high pressure salesmen calling you up on the phone.
I found that immediately I put out a classified ad on the internet, I started getting calls from people wanting to put me on the front page of Google and charge me £99 per month. I then did some research on these people and found out they had a terrible reputation for deducting funds from people’s accounts and not cancelling the direct debits.
I have spent a couple of thousand pounds on advertising that simply did not work.
I paid to have business cards put in a certain very large supermarket chain locally and I did not get a single customer in TWO YEARS as a result of doing that.
I also paid £150 to have a one page website built, whereas I know now that you can get that done for free using wordpress or blogger.
I think it is scandalous that there are these people out there who must kill off many small businesses whilst they are at their most vulnerable stage. Some are crooked and others are just selling you a rubbish service that doesn’t work. You have been warned!
Don’t forget the first 3 rules of advertising, 1) Test 2) Test and 3) Test!
Start small; don’t get bludgeoned into a 2 year contract where they take all or most of your money up front. If I hadn’t had other sources of income to fall back on these salespeople would have wiped us out completely early on.
Don’t give these people houseroom – Tell them you are with the Telephone Preference Service. (Register with the Telephone Preference Service).
Q19 Who inspired you on your current path and who continues to inspire you every day?
Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy. Steven R Covey.
Martin Luther King, John F Kennedy, Winston Churchill, Gandhi
Phil Collins, Freddie Mercury, Jimi Hendrix, Deep Purple Led Zeppelin and a lot of others probably.
Q20 Where do you get your drive and inspiration from? Is it self-generated?
That’s a good question. I do get some of it from books. From empowering quotes and so on.
Some of it is from me. I also listen to tapes like “The Achiever’s Edge” by Peter Thomson and “Personal Power 2” and “The Time of Your Life” by Anthony Robbins, I also like “The Psychology of Achievement” by Brian Tracy.
I also get loads of motivation from music. Check out my “Recommended” (Music, Listening and Reading) pages at http://www.dareiidream.co.uk
Q21 What’s your favourite inspiring quote and who is it from?
Actually there are loads. The ones that immediately come to mind are?
“Never Give Up, Never Give Up, Never Give Up.”
Winston Churchill
“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
T S Eliot
“Let’s Rock!”
Tanya, Command & Conquer, Red Alert.
Just dip into one of Susan Haywood’s books. They are chock full of great quotes.
The kicker for me has to be “IF” by Rudyard Kipling
“If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs…”
I specifically drew on that poem for inspiration to implement one of my escape strategies!
Q22 What’s your favourite inspiring song and who performed it?
It’s probably “Proud” by Heather Small.
Also “You’re the Voice” By John Farnham. It’s awesome.
Q23 What has been your greatest challenge in your personal or professional life and how did you overcome it?
That’s a great question. I recently did an extensive analysis of all my most significant successes and failures and to my surprise I established the following:
1) Most failures are temporary and no longer count.
2) Some failures or incompletions simply no longer matter – you don’t need to go down that path anymore because it’s not part of your life anymore. You have moved on. You can’t step in the same river twice. Your wants and needs have changed.
3) Some successes are just a tick the box exercise, got that, bought the teashirt. They seem to be 99% anticipation and then 1% excitement. Then it’s “Next…?” It reminds me of an advert I saw with a Formula One driver crossing the finishing line saying something like “30 years of preparation for 30 seconds of victory!” Whatever happened to enjoying the journey, and being grateful for what you already have?
4) I now believe the greatest things I have achieved are not so much “tick the box” as much as situations I have elected to get out of, i.e. chronically bad (maybe even life threatening) situations or “toxic” relationships. Though it seemed tough to make a break at the time, staying would have been even more agonising. Sometimes you simply must break free from a no-win situation. I can look back at several of these and say to myself, “Thank God I got out when I did!” I now believe these are greater successes than the promotions I got or the drumkits I bought or whatever else is on my so called success or “been there, done that” list. You know you have made the right decision because a great weight is lifted from your shoulders, and something much nicer comes along that you can now do that you wouldn’t have been able to do if you had stayed where you were.
Q24 What are the 3 most important qualities you believe you need to succeed in life and which one of those in particular have you drawn upon the most to get to where you are today?
1) Belief – Unquestioning belief in yourself and your abilities – Doubt has never paid a single mortgage payment.
2) Persistence/ Tenacity – the ability to keep on keeping on in spite of everything! As Earl Nightingale says: “Stay With It!” and Winston Churchill “Never Give up”.
3) Resilience – the ability to bounce back from the inevitable setbacks which occur. To be knocked down, pick yourself up, and come back stronger than before.
As for which one I have used the most, it’s probably persistence. I think its one of the only benefits you can realise from playing video games. You know its that:
“Just one more go!” and
“This Time…”
Q25 Tell us about DareIIDream and the DareIIDream Hypnotherapy website
I originally set this up to provide a means for clients to see what we offer and to entice them to come and pay me a visit. More recently I have started to put recommended reading lists on, videos, music and so on, so it is much more of an interactive experience, rather than simply an advert and enticement to call me. Give the customer what they want.
Q26 Tell us about your Podcasting & Videos
That’s still in development at time of writing (July 2010). I’m planning to get more audio on the website with a series of interviews from what I call “The Comfy Chair”. I will also be posting more videos on YouTube. There are now some available called Story Time. My You Tube Account is called Redronnie1963.
Q27 Tell us about your other initiatives.
I am looking to harness the power of the internet and reach a wider audience. I am learning to do internet marketing with Chris Farrell. I will be looking at new traffic methods and the sale of digital products, possibly through further affiliate marketing arrangements.
Q28 Tell us about “52 Questions That Will Change Your Life”
It’s a new blog I set up with an autoresponder. You get a question to help you sort your life out sent from the autoresponder once a week for a whole year. You write 3 answers a day and pick 7 actions per week.
It’s available to anyone who signs up at http://52questionsthatwillchangeyourlife.blogspot.com
Q29 What’s next for Neil Paddock and DareIIDream?
A nice cup of tea. A bit more social networking. Some consolidating and bringing together of a lot of data I have collected over the years, into a more client friendly format.
All in all more added value for my clients, past, present and future!
Q30 If there’s one key piece of advice you could offer our listeners, based on your own experiences to date, to help them to become happier, healthier and wealthier on a consistent basis, what would it be?
1) Never stop believing you can achieve your dreams. Never give up on them. Believe in yourself, your talents and your dreams. Become confident through taking action. Some people think “I’m not going to take action ‘cos I don’t feel confident”. That’s not the way it works – You take action, and then you get the confidence.
2) Never doubt yourself, if you are wrong, which you will be from time to time, you can always apologise later. Go with your gut instinct, and don’t allow yourself the luxury of dwelling on negative thoughts. Deal what you need to deal with. Take the appropriate action, and get back to focussing on your goals.
3) You can’t expect to become something if you are not doing it on a regular basis– Simply do more of what you want to become, and make time for your most important goals every single day. Simply set a time to have a meeting with yourself and as Peter Thomson advises: Have an agenda AND stick to it! Keep promises to others and especially keep promises to yourself!
4) Take responsibility for your own life and your own happiness – I can’t emphasise that enough really – No one else can do it for you. Avoid blaming yourself and others and making excuses. As Ken Blanchard would say: “Discover the power of No Excuses!”
5) “Follow your passion, not your pension.” Do what you were put on this planet to do. You know what it is. Really.
6) As Richard Branson Says: “Make Every Second Count!”
7) We have all heard the expression “Life is a journey, not a destination.” Really embrace it. Surely the key is to enjoy the journey, enjoy the experience. Be in and enjoy the present moment.
8) Adopt Steven Covey’s Eighth Habit: “Find Your Voice, and encourage others to find theirs.”
End Bit
Neil thanks for taking the time to be a part of “The Comfy Chair” Interview today and for sharing so many of your insights and ideas.
“It’s my pleasure Susan.”
Q31 How can listeners/(readers) contact you if they need more information?
Email: neilpaddock@gmail.com
Phone: 01553 842385
Web http:\\www.dareiidream.co.uk
Conclusion
So there you have it!
This is Susan Paddock, of Dare II Dream Hypnotherapy, signing off from “The Comfy Chair” this week.
My guest was Neil Paddock, Certified Hypnotherapist, Master Practitioner of NLP, and Certified Accountant.
Let’s think back about what Neil and I discussed and to take one idea and put it into action over the next 7 days.
If you need any further information about hypnotherapy NLP or self development, please feel free to contact Neil or myself on
Email neilpaddock@diid.co.uk
Phone 01553 842385
Web http:\\www.dareiidream.co.uk
